God Lives Through Us?

God is in me, the Kingdom of Heaven is in me. God is in all of us. Satan is in me, Hell is in me. I’m one of the billions of vessels carrying Heaven and Hell, Good and Evil around.

   The Devil lives in me but cannot do anything without my hands. He needs control to achieve his plans. The Devil wants to control me, God only wants me to be free. When my hands are free of Satan's influence, they work for God, but without his control, without whispers and manipulations. Free will exists, possibly, but it’s hard to achieve.

   Heaven must mean freedom. But in full freedom there is nothing? In full freedom I would have to be free of my thoughts. Therefore I wouldn’t exist. In full freedom I would be free of existence. If I exist, if I have thoughts, if I have any kind of purpose – I’m not free, and I’m not in Heaven. I am on a battlefield, between Heaven and Hell.

   Are we born of God, and that’s why we know him? Because we are him, in billions of tiny parts? Does God live in us and through us? Or do we just have a memory connection to our maker? Is this, live, our rite of passage?

   We have never seen God together, so that we could agree about Him. But if we did, it might end us.

   How do we know the preachers to be right, aren’t they the most obvious marks for Satan to manipulate and speak through? I’m afraid Satan controls the preachers, he needs their power. The preachers, possibly working for Satan, try to suffocate the individual freedom in us. What if this is Satan’s attempt to suffocate God? If the freedom in us, our inner creative and expressive child, is killed, how will God live through us?

    What if God can be found after enough hedonism and sexual experiments? It seems that a decade or two of alcoholism clears the mind for many people. Why did God give us the child like curiosity if we’re not meant to use it? Why does he allow us to play with Satan? Is it to give us a chance to see both sides, so we can make our minds without manipulation and control – in free will?